I thoroughly enjoy writing. My vocabulary is limited which leads me to believe that my work is poor, but I continue to write. I have this dream of walking into books a million or barnes & noble one day (hopefully in the near future) and seeing my published book sitting on the shelf for all to read.
I started a children's book. My goal was to have a character named after each niece & nephew & a few other people in my life who have a made such a positive or negative influence. I wrote every weekend for a month and then that project came to a screeching halt. Fall of 2010 I started a book about my spiritual journey. I want to share with young women the many trials that I faced and how through the grace, love, and mercy of God I overcame the obstacles. I want to share with parents how to deal with their teens. I want to tell dads how important they are to their children. I want the crap that I went through (put myself through) to mean something and make it better for someone else. I wrote every night for a few weeks. Then my writing trickled to the weekends. I'm at another screeching halt.
I have fewer than 100 pages written and am stuck. I want to elaborate on my stories. I want to tell more meaningful stories. I want to share more scripture. However, I am an extrovert and need to be out socializing. So my writing took a back seat to my social life. I have no complaints.
This week has been rough for me. I admit PMS has a bit to do with it. I almost cried at my desk yesterday and today. I'm actually leaving early on Friday just to have some time to myself. i decided to cease the books. I got this strange idea that the books will never be published anyway. I'm just wasting my time writing page after page of memories & scripture. Tonight someone wrote me. Their daughter is going through the same things I went through when I turned 18. I can't give away the plot, then you'll really have no reason to read my book. Additionally, i was reading about King David in 1 Samuel tonight. King David was chosen by God to be the King of Israel as a young child and waited 15 years to receive this position. I read about the covenant between Jonathan & David and immediately thought, PATIENCE!! God was kinda screaming the word to me. I presented some issues in my life that I would like immediate attention and once again he screamed PATIENCE. So, to bring this back to my original topic, my book is a God thing. How i am to proceed in my love life is a God thing. I have no idea if my book will ever land on the shelves of barnes & noble but that's not why I'm writing it. Even if only one person reads it and learns from it, the book will be worth it. One thought that just occurred to me, this book could be for my nieces. I need to be patient. The guy that I am completely smitten with may never want to be more than friends, but I should not rush it. PATIENCE!! This lesson is tough. To be content while I wait is tough.