Lord, I believe, help me overcome my unbelief.
This verse has been my saving grace over the past few days. I am in the midst of a Beth Moore Bible study and last Thursday we studied this verse. I took a little test about my belief in God. I believe in God (but so does the devil). I believe that God loves me and wants the best for me. I don't believe all the promises that are laid out in the Bible are meant for me, Sherry. Face it, when the promises were mentioned He was speaking to other people. He was speaking to the famous prophets, Jews & Gentiles mentioned all over the Old Testament. There isn't one verse in the Bible that says "Sherry you will meet a wonderful loving godly man and have children one day just wait and trust in me." I see Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." But hey I'm not stupid I know we don't receive the mansion with the white picket fence & the "zoom zoom" SUV. So, will He give me all of the desires of my heart?
I had a little talk with God about this. I explained to Him why I doubt.
I went to work knowing I would have a great day since it started with my devotions and a healthy hearty prayer :) I was presented with many questions, the usual changes & carrier issues. It seemed that no one outside of my dept believed. They kept asking for proof and data. They wanted reports and debated with me all day. At the end of the day I went out to my car and sat in the driver seat. I did my usual screaming & hitting the steering wheel in frustration. Then I laughed to the high heavens. OK, GOD I GOT IT!! Heard YUH!! So I'm starting to understand how God feels when He has kept every promise He has ever made and I doubt Him. Usually I would feel guilty, but not this time. I consider this a valuable lesson learned and love Him even more for opening my eyes to how much He loves me and I can truly, fully rely on God. I can trust in Him will all my heart and lean not onto my understanding (Prov 3:5-6). I still have many unfilled dreams, but I'm trusting in the One who created me and my ambitions to fulfill them. Now, to learn that all to valuable lesson of patience!