Sunday, June 27, 2010

worth writing home about

in one week, i did the following
  1. ate cheesecake for breakfast
  2. cooked one of my cutting boards
  3. killed a bug with hairspray
  4. wore a dress to work & showed my TA-TA'S
  5. fell in love (with a band & a drink)
  6. dreamt i only weighed 126 lbs
  7. figured out how to send a text mssg to the right person
  8. and paid off my car

the significance-

i hate dresses and haven't owned one since 1994. i'm becoming more feminine by the day, which leads me to believe that my mother is heavily praying for this.

i learned that i don't need a man around the house to kill bugs, i have hair spray.

i know that we overuse the word "love" so that it no longer has any meaning, but i MISS saying it & REALLY MISS hearing it so i'm abusing it now. my possessions can't tell me that they love me, but i can tell my stuff how much i love it.

my dream was so dramatic. in two years i gained about 60 lbs. my self esteem plummeted. my ex-boyfriend stopped telling me how beautiful i was which only compounded the problem. in my dream i was on the scales and saw the number 126 (which is where i am supposed to be for my age & height) but my fat rolls were still there. i was so excited to finally be at this weight, but i was so SAD that i still looked like an elephant. i was filled with anger that i did all that work and nothing happened!!!! so technically, it was a nightmare. it will never cease to amaze me how my dreams can feel so real.

who eats cheesecake for breakfast when trying to lose weight?? well, i actually cooked a very healthy breakfast, took it to work, and when i was about to eat the healthy breakfast we had a birthday celebration with cheesecake. i may be blond, but i'm not stupid. i ate the cheesecake and enjoyed every bite. it was probably my daily calorie count, but i don't regret it.

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