Hi, how are you?

Lately I do not like being greeted with “Hi, how are you?” I believe this is just a canned greeting. In most cases, especially in a corporate environment, the person does not really want to know how you are doing. They do not want to hear “Well, Karen, if you must know,I'm a little behind on some bills and am about to lose my house.” Not only do you not want everybody knowing your business, but after the 5^th greeting in 10 minutes you are completely drained of all energy and then just start lying; “I’m good, how are you?”

It wasn’t until my biggest loss on October 21, 2019 that I really despised this greeting and realized that I usually greet people with an actual greeting, not a question: Good morning, Welcome back, It’s good to see you, I can’t believe the weekend is over and it’s already Monday.  

 I realized that my greetings don’t ask anything of them.

I’m a social person. I LOVE TO TALK! And the corporate environment has shaped my greetings to avoid asking something of people. I want to be courteous and acknowledge their presence, but don’t want to invade co-workers privacy.

This has stemmed into other areas of my life. And after experiencing my biggest loss in October 2019, a shocking loss in November 2019, and then dealing with a major family situation in December 2019, I got to thinking about this phrase that quite frankly just stumps me.

Hi, how are you?

This greeting is one reason why people (like me this holiday season) avoid social gatherings. Since October 21 I fight the urge to skip church. I love God. I have a great relationship with God. I enjoy church service. I do not want a million people greeting me with “hi, how are you?” I don’t have an answer! I don’t want to be rude, especially at church where strangers are the least understanding. I don’t want to lie. I’m believing for better, so I don’t want to say something negative, especially at church where I’ll receive a lecture for not believing for better.

I HURT! I really hurt! I am emotionally raw and I sing praise songs and pray and while I pray the tears are streaming down my face. While I "Raise a Hallelujah" and lift my hands to God, I ugly cry! One can praise God in the midst of the storm, our praises just look differently!

Did you get that? Did you really read that? I still praise God. He has tremendously blessed me. He is getting me through each day. But I'm still grieving.

There are times I start to pray, I open my mouth and just break down and cry. What’s left is me calling on the name of Jesus. But let’s face it, I’m only going to be this vulnerable with my family and close friends especially at church and work.

Since I don’t have an answer to this canned greeting, I’m dreading these gatherings. I want to give gifts to my loved one, but I’m dreading the Christmas gathering. I don’t want to be alone, but I’m dreading the conversations with people. I don’t want to stay at home all day and watch TV on Christmas, but I don’t want to put on pants! Granted, I want to stay in pajamas any given day off from work J

In November 2019 my Pastor suddenly died in a car accident. His death has shocked an entire congregation and more. Since we’re all grieving, I do feel emotionally safe enough to cry or just say “I’m emotional” when I face this question at church. And I’m sure that everyone is facing their own personal battle(s) on top of Pastor’s death. So, my pain is expected.

I now face a new challenge. I want to avoid church cuz MY PASTOR isn’t in the pulpit. There are pictures and videos of him all over the place. Our church and pastor has a strong presence in the City and social media. Each time I walk in the building there are images of the Pastor, people are talking about how they are dealing with their grief. I’m trying to shift my thinking to my expectations for the new year. What exciting things are we aiming for next year? I'm trying to avoid grieving in public. 

No, I’m not depressed! I exercise. I sing praise and worship music, and have devotions. My husband and I laugh throughout the day and flirt with each other. I’m cleaning the house and sharing recipes with people. I just don’t want to face the questions, or “face the music” as they say. I don’t want to hear “hi, how are you?” a thousand times. Answering with “I’m emotional” invokes more questions everywhere else, especially at work!