Saturday, February 16, 2013

the fairy tale

                In 2010 I was a member of 3 singles groups. One of the singles groups I found through I highly recommend to find a social life. In the summer of 2010 I noticed an event with the meetup singles group that was going to DC to check out the Smithsonian. I never really had a desire to see the Smithsonian until I watched the movie “Night at the Museum.” About 20 people signed up for this event and we met at a mall about 15 – 20 minutes from where I live. The plan was to carpool to the Metro and use that public transportation system into DC. I didn't really know anyone who signed up for this event. The event organizer, Alan, pulls up and gets out of his car to greet us. I immediately thought to myself “he’s cute.” Then I heard him mention he borrowed a GPS from the girl he’s dating.  Trying not to show disappointment on my face, I hopped in the front seat of his car and offered to navigate in case the GPS failed us. There were a total of 4 people in the car; I was the only female.               
             We left the mall and hopped on interstate 95. Shortly after we were on the interstate another passenger brought up sports. Alan mentioned he doesn't like football but prefers hockey. I know at this point I’m beaming. I doubt there was a literal glow around me, but I know for sure I was smiling from ear to ear. I found someone who enjoys hockey! Alan and I talked quite a bit on the ride up to DC. Once all 20 of us arrived at the museum, we all had lunch together. Alan suggested we split up into smaller groups and reconnect later. He and I paired up together and the other groups went their own merry way.
As we started to tour the museum, he basically said he didn't really care what we explored in the museum and he suggested that I guide the way. I was already smitten with him and had only spent a few hours with him. I had to keep reminding myself he was dating someone. As we walked through the museum together, we played a couple of games. I am 5 foot short and he is a few inches taller than me. One area of the museum showed the height of the people during that time period and we stood up against the height markers on the wall to see how close we came to it. People stared at us and I laughed. Apparently it doesn't take much to amuse me. Then he started this conversation about women who dress for attention. One thing led to another and we started this “look at me” game. If the woman wore something that screamed “look at me” we pointed it out and discussed it. I gave my opinion on a few women and their apparel and he gave me the male’s point of view. We had so much fun playing the "look at me" game. 
               About an hour into touring the museum he mentioned that he has 2 books published. I literally stood still for a minute. My heart almost sunk. I was just so excited. Not only am I a writer and I found another writer, but he actually has stuff published! This was just a turn on for me. 
               After the museum of natural history we made our way to the air and space museum. This museum is smaller and has a lot to do with science. Science is not my favorite subject. We checked out the bottom level and had quite the discussion. As we made our way to the upper level I made the mistake of calling him a computer geek since he works in the field of technology. He quickly corrected me. He said something like “Geeks have an orgasmic relationship with computers, I don’t.” That’s it! I was hooked. Not because he said the word “orgasmic” but because of his vocabulary and how greatly he described things. I’m so jealous of his extensive vocabulary and how he uses it. He not only works in the field of science, but he writes and has an extraordinary talent with English. What woman doesn't want that? We were touring on the top level and I almost kissed him. I heard this voice in my head screaming at me “HE IS DATING SOMEONE. HE HAS TALKED ABOUT HER ALL DAY. HE WANTS HER, NOT YOU. DON’T KISS HIM!!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!”
               We were approaching 6 pm and he wanted to attend another event about 2 hours away that started around 8:30. So we were rushing to leave the Smithsonian. However, the rest of the group wanted to stay behind and check out more of DC and eat dinner. Alan and I left together and headed back to Richmond alone. We had a great conversation on the road trip back. Well, in my opinion it was a great conversation, but I was completely smitten with him.
               I arrived at home that night and called some girlfriends with my excitement and disappointment. I proudly exclaimed that I had met the perfect guy but he was dating someone. I was aggravated.  I really wanted to see him again, but I knew that I couldn't tell him how I felt.
               A few months later Alan mentioned online that he was heartbroken. I immediately assumed that he was no longer dating this girl. Now was my chance, but I had to play my cards carefully. 
January of 2011 this singles meetup group held an event for debunking myths on relationships. Alan did not host the event, but he opened his workplace for 40 singles to get together for a potluck dinner and discussion on relationships. It was pretty interesting. I made sure I sat next to him. I really enjoyed his company. Before the discussion officially started, I was socializing in a small group which included Alan. He commented that he spent a great deal of time learning about relationships and studying people’s behavior. I grinned from ear to ear, rubbed my fingers around his ring finger and asked “How’s that working for yuh?” He quickly replied “That’s on purpose.” He made it clear that being single was his choice.
During this honest discussion between men and women, I asked a couple of questions and listened intently to all the novelist had to say. What better environment to learn what he wants in a relationship, right? After hearing a few men say that it is ok for a woman to express interest in a man and then let him make the next move, I came home and sent him a message letting him know that I really like him. I was on cloud 9 when he responded. He didn't reject me! He was surprised and flattered. He was open with the fact that he wasn't looking or ready for any dating relationship. I was thrilled he said I am a pretty cool person to hang out with. He gave me his schedule for that week and we met at a book store on Friday night. A month later, I felt like a teenager. Every time I saw him or received a message from him, I was all giddy inside. One weekend I checked out a salsa dance.  We danced together briefly. Oh my!!! I was so turned on. He could have had me right there on the dance floor. Seriously, he is pretty much all that I think about.
While salsa dancing with Alan that night he gently and humorously mentioned a couple of things. If anyone else had said it I would probably be offended but I’m completely smitten by him so I listened. He dances regularly. This was my first night learning the salsa dance. I really sucked at it. I’m not sure if you know how dancing works, but the man is supposed to lead. I have a difficult time following the lead. I messed up several times as this was my first time salsa dancing. He first joked that independent women have a hard time following the leader. When I messed up again, I apologized and he gently said “trust me.”
               Do you know how heavy of a word TRUST is? I have a hard time trusting anyone. After he said this, I did let loose and in my opinion the rest of the dance went well. I was surprised that he asked me to trust him. I was even more surprised at how willingly I let go. He probably thinks I was still holding back, but I really did let go.
               Alan and I continued developing this wonderful friendship. Every other Thursday night we attended a Bible study and then drove to Barnes and Noble to hang out together. We shared many laughs, many stories about life, and our Biblical views. One night at Barnes and Noble I shared some upsetting details with him and just started to cry. Alan softly said "people probably think I'm breaking up with you." I started to laugh, which encouraged him to continue...."you could really make a scene and throw water at me. We could come here every week and have this break up scene. I'm not sure what it would do for your self esteem, but I would feel pretty good about myself." I was laughing so hard, which only encouraged him to continue with details about a fake break up scene. He had this natural gift of making me laugh regardless of the situation. Even when my grandfather passed away in November of 2011. I called Alan right after the funeral. I just needed a break from the somber atmosphere of the funeral. Alan had me laughing hysterically in just a matter of minutes. 
        As I continued in prayer about my desire to be more than friends with him, we started spending a lot more time together. We would talk on the phone till 1 in the morning, play word games all hours of the night. There were many times I just wanted to lean forward and kiss him, but I felt led by the Holy Spirit to wait. Finally! On December 26, 2011, we officially started dating. One year and six months after we met and developed a strong bond, we took our friendship to the next level. Much to my surprise, on February 14, 2013, he proposed to me. I was patient. I prayed. I followed the Holy Spirit. I GOT MY MAN!

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