Sunday, December 23, 2012

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

I never understood this phrase until 2012. This year has been the happiest and yet most stressful year. 

My happiness revolves around my love life. I'm dating my best friend and we just have the best time together. He spoils me!!

My stress began on Feb 3 when I twisted my ankle. I left it untreated for 2 months because I didn't think it was that serious. My boyfriend is the one who convinced me to go see a real doctor since the people at Patient First were of no help. (I still claim the "doctors" at Patient First flunked out of med school). Two months after my injury I finally saw a podiatrist and much to my surprise left her office in a cast. 

I spent two months in a cast. I went from going out about five nights a week, exercising & dancing regularly to being confined to my couch. This drove me crazy!! After the cast was removed I spent another month in a knee high boot as I built up the strength in my ankle & foot to wear real shoes. 

During all of the stress from my injury, medical bills, and being confined to the couch; my man has pampered and spoiled me! We talk everyday. On the busiest of days it may only be a simple text message telling each other good night. Other days, we talk for hours on end and I have to force myself to hang up the phone. He is so supportive and loving. 

As soon as my foot/ ankle is on the mend and I can wear real shoes, stress continued at work. One of my co-workers and friend moved out of state. When she told us she was moving, I started preparing myself mentally for the extra workload. A week before she moved, it hit me that another friend is moving out of state. It sucks when all your friends move away :(  

Over the next three months, we lost more co-workers. In Nov 2011 my department had 11 people. In Nov 2012, four people had left the department and the fifth person (my manager) turned in a resignation. I discovered a whole new level of stress. I am overworked and underpaid, overwhelmed, don't know if I'm coming or going, can't keep up, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, so busy I can't see straight, and drowning by a sea of emails. You state the motto, I've used it!! I think I've even cried uncle and waved a white flag! 

All this stress has weakened my immune system. After three years of avoiding a doctor office and having zero prescriptions, I have had every minor infection known to women. I receive more medical bills than utility bills and have taken as many as 10 pills a day. I eat to cope with stress which is not a good thing when I'm still limited with my exercise and activities. 

The other stress in my life has been related to my brother. My brother is stationed in Japan with the Air Force. I am so proud of him. I also miss him greatly!! There are days I want to simply call him on the phone and share my good or bad news with him and I can't. He is 13 hours ahead of me. It is so difficult reaching him by phone or email. Sometimes I wonder how we would ever reach him if there was a family emergency. I love him so much and just want to give him a big hug and hold him for a few minutes. I cry at the thought of arriving in Japan and running to his arms for a big embrace. I NEVER knew it would be this difficult having family serve in the military. 

Having said all of that, my wonderful boyfriend has spoiled me! I LOVE the beach! He took me on a whale watching adventure which I thoroughly enjoyed. It meant so much to me that he fulfilled a wish I had, even though he doesn't really enjoy the beach. He has sent me roses to work, which put a huge smile on my face. He has treated me to many movies and musicals and special Friday night dates. I can't even name all of the stuff he did to take care of me while I was in a cast. Although, hysterically enough, he left the vacuuming to my girlfriends :)

This year I rode in a limo for the first time. I went to the Bahamas. FINALLY after 17 years of following Toby Mac, I saw him in concert with my boyfriend standing & jamming right next to me. I spend so much more time in prayer, just to survive a day in the work jungle that my relationship with God has sky rocketed. I enjoy my prayer time more. I am even involved with 2 ministries at church and feel spiritually complete. I know I'm not perfect, but I know God loves me as I am and He is working with me as I travel this journey. 

It has been a year to say the least! I don't really have any regrets. I'm still learning how to relax and put all of my burdens on God. I mean He can solve much easier and quicker than I can. 

Merry Christmas and Happy 2013!

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