It's so amazing to me how I can hear a song numerous times and never listen to the tiny lyric that is truly uplifting. I was listening to some praise & worship music today and heard, OH JESUS YOU BECAME, WHAT WAS MY DEEPEST SHAME. How freeing and powerful are those words? I've carried so much shame for many years and there was no reason. He paid it all for me. Just read Romans 8 and you'll see what I mean. It begins with the fabulous declaration that we are NOT in condemnation. I have no reason to carry this guilt & shame. And as I jotted down the lyric (because I have a horrible memory these days) I'm mentally listing all of the things that I have done that caused shame. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks, HELLO!!! sin in & of itself it shameful. So Jesus came & relieved me of all of my shame.

I've noticed since I've let go of all of this pressure to be perfect, I've become more beautiful and more confident. Because of my inner beauty, I'm starting to shine and my outer beauty is more apparent. For years I thrived on being a tom-boy. I've avoided all beauty enhancing products. Something changed in me early in 2010. Next thing you know I'm wearing make-up, taking care of my nails & painting them. I have a few different hair & facial care products. I've paid more attention to my apparel & shoes. I actually get excited when I find a good pair of sexy shoes or boots on sale that fit me. That never happened to me until 2010. I really enjoy coming out of my shell. I feel so alive these days. My outgoing personality has finally returned after a long & painful journey of grieving. I love the new me!!